How To Raise Your Self-Esteem

Have you wondered about what self-esteem is and how to get more of it? Do you think your self-esteem is low? Do you know how to tell? Do you know what to do about it?

Self-esteem answers the question, “How do I feel about who I am?” We learn self-esteem in our family of origin; we do not inherit it.

Global self-esteem (about “who we are”) is normally constant. Situational self-esteem (about what we do) fluctuates, depending on circumstances, roles, and events. Situational self-esteem can be high at one moment (e.g., at work) and low the next (e.g., at home).

Low self-esteem is a negative evaluation of oneself. This type of evaluation usually occurs when some circumstance we encounter in our life touches on our sensitivities. We personalize the incident and experience physical, emotional, and cognitive arousal. This is so alarming and confusing that we respond by acting in a self-defeating or self-destructive manner. When that happens, our actions tend to be automatic and impulse-driven; we feel upset or emotionally blocked; our thinking narrows; our self-care deteriorates; we lose our sense of self; we focus on being in control and become self-absorbed.

Global self-esteem is not set in stone. Raising it is possible, but not easy. Global self-esteem grows as we face our fears and learn from our experiences. Some of this work may require the aid of a psychotherapist. In the meantime, here is what you can do:

• Get sober. Get help through 12-step groups to stop self-destructive behaviors. Addictions block learning and drag down our mood. Identify them and replace them with self-care.
• Practice self-care. Make new lifestyle choices by joining self-help groups and practicing positive health care.
• Identify triggers to low self-esteem. We personalize stressful events (e.g., criticism) by inferring a negative meaning about ourselves. A self-defeating action often follows. Each event can, instead, be a chance to learn about ourselves, if we face our fear of doing so and the negative beliefs about ourselves that sustain the negative meanings.
• Slow down personalizing. Target personalizing to slow impulsive responses. You can begin to interfere with these automatic overreactions by using relaxation and stress management techniques. These techniques are directed at self-soothing the arousal. This allows us to interrupt the otherwise inevitable automatic reaction and put into play a way to begin to face the unacknowledged fears at the root of low self-esteem.
• Stop and take notice. Pay attention to the familiarity of the impulse. Our tendency is to overreact in the same way to the same incident. Awareness of the similarity can be the cue to slow our reactivity.
• Acknowledge reaction. Verbalize, “Here I go again (describe action, feeling, thought) . . . ” Actively do something with the awareness rather than passively note it. The result is to slow the impulse and give ourselves a choice about how we want to respond.
• Choose response. Hold self-defeating impulses. Act in a self-caring and effective way. By choosing to act in a more functional way, we take a step toward facing our fears.
• Accept impulse. Be able to state the benefit (e.g., protection) of overreaction. We won’t be able to do this at first, but as we become more effective, we will begin to appreciate what our self-defeating impulse had been doing for us.
• Develop skills. We can provide for our own safety, engender hope, tolerate confusion, and raise self-esteem by learning and using these essential life skills:
  • Experience feelings. “Feel” feelings in your body and identify your needs. When we do not respect our feelings, we are left to rely on what others want and believe.
  • Optional thinking. End either/or thinking. Think in “shades of gray” and learn to reframe meanings. By giving ourselves options, we open ourselves to new possibilities about how to think about our dilemmas.
  • Detachment. End all abuse; say “no” to misrepresentations and assumptions. By maintaining personal boundaries, we discourage abuse by others and assert our separateness.
  • Assertion. Voice what you see, feel, and want by making “I” statements. By expressing our thoughts, feelings, and desires in a direct and honest manner, we show that we are in charge of our lives.
  • Receptivity. End self-absorption; listen to others’ words and meanings to restate them. In this way, we act with awareness of our contribution to events as well as empathize with the needs of others.

Importance of Discipline in Life

Discipline means abiding by, or adhering to, certain rules or norms of social life. Discipline is what a person imposes on himself taking it as his duty to God, to society, or to some other institution. It remands a strict control over an individual's rights and privilege, which if allowed swelling uncurbed and unregulated may result in disorder and anarchy in social and political life of a country. Discip­line is vital to a successful life. Without discipline army is reduced to a disordered mob, democracy degenerates into monocracy and social life becomes chaotic and anarchical.

Nature provides the best example of discipline in life. In nature all the planets move in their orbit; the seasons change in accordance with a set order, day and night follow each other at regular intervals, Man must take lessons from Nature. Our life should be punctuated with discipline. It is in this sense that K. Santhanam defined National Integrity as the conscientious and faithful performance of duties and obligations by every section of the people,

Quaid-e-Azam, the father of the nation, has greatly stressed the need for discipline among people. According to Turn, if all the citizens observe certain moral restrictions on themselves, the social, and political life of the country will improve.

Discipline is of prime importance in every sphere of man's life. In a family, members have to work as a cohesive team under the charge of the 'pater familias' i.e., the father or the bread-winner. But if the sense of discipline is not instilled into the minds of the members, each going his own way in his own manner, life in the family becomes a living hell, in our social life, we are required to follow certain norms of behavior and make a harmonious adjustment between our rights and duties. Without this our social life will become a mess and will soon go out of gear. Even in small day-to-day things like walking along the road, boarding a bus, baying a ticket from the counter or doing, or getting a work done in a govern­ment office, citizens must show a sense of discipline.

Discipline is the backbone of the political life of a nation. If a political party is torn by internal rife or differences, or if it suffers from groupism or indiscipline, it cannot commend any prestige or following of the common man. If a leader is himself undisciplined, he cannot even dream of becoming a beloved leader of the people. Discipline and democracy go hand in hand. Democracy necessitates a balance between rights and duties, between 'self-regarding actions' and 'other regarding actions'. But if in a democracy discipline is lacking, it will function like a fast running automobile without brakes. It is bound to result in chaos, and be replaced by a dictatorship or a totalitarian government sooner or later.

Discipline is necessary both for the teacher and the students. A teacher is the leader of his charges, He must possess and main­tain an intellectual and moral discipline of a high order. However learned and scholarly a teacher may be, but if in his personal life he leads an undisciplined life, he will never be able to win and com­mand the respect and obedience of students. Similarly, only a dedi­cated and disciplined student can carne out a brilliant career for himself and serve the motherland. Wanton indulgence in indiscipline, strikes, demonstrations, drug-addiction, beating up of teachers in examinations, molestation of girls, boycotting classes, defying the authorities and fighting pitched battles with the police, which has become the bane of student life in free India of today are, in a way, the negation of the-very theme and purpose of the student life. Dis­ciplined students are the pillars of a nation's strength and with their strength of character they can lift a nation to the great heights of progress.

"Discipline is the cement that binds an army.'' An army is as great and powerful as it is disciplined and united. Oliver Cromwell and Shivaji could force a mighty foe bite the dust with the help of only a handful of disciplined and iron-hearted soldiers. Even a massive army will crumble like a house of cards in the absence of dis­cipline, as did the Egyptian army under Antony. Army without discipline is no army, it is a mob. Police without discipline is even worse than armed bandits.

Some people entertain the erroneous belief that discipline is a constraint on liberty and self-fulfillment. They are averse to disciplined and they reach very sharply whenever some restrictions are im­posed. This is not correct. This type of freedom degenerates into license. We must realize that discipline alone can ensure all-round progress and advancement of the country.

For the last few years, India has been a helpless victim of growing indiscipline in all walks of life. Certain political parties and selfish political leaders have been creating indiscipline among the masses in order to gain their ulterior motives by fishing in troubled waters. We have been noticing a very disturbing phenomenon of strikes, demonstrations, agitations and bandhs and vociferous proces­sions and rampages. Unemployment, economic disparities, cultural erosion, intellectual lethargy, crisis of character and erroneous con­ception of liberty are among the chief contributing factors of indis­cipline.

Infact, discipline is the basic principle behind the progress and smooth working of an individual and a nation. It is essential for the preservation of social values. But discipline should be inborn and self-imposed rather than externally imposed. It should be a tenor and mode of life based upon moral basis rather than an exter­nal compulsion caused by an unscrupulous and power-hungry autho­ritarian government. It should be taught by education and enlightenment.

Importance of Self Grooming for Girls

Self grooming forms an integral part of a girl’s personality. In fact, grooming is an essential building block of a girl’s personality and it is through grooming that a girl learns how to mesmerize and spread her charm and charisma all over. Self-grooming occurs when a girl pays attention to her grooming and style herself and makes herself stand out amongst the crowd by applying the finest methods of self grooming.

Self grooming not only adds confidence and sophistication into a girl’s life but it also makes her feel good and look good all the time and also, self grooming makes a girl more adaptable to the different environments and allows more flexibility in a nature of a girl. Today’s world is becoming extremely competitive and for girls it is particularly important to focus on their self grooming so that they can make their mark wherever they go may it be their personal lives or professional lives. Indeed, self grooming is crucial to all aspects of a girl’s life.

Beauty, health and hygiene are the key players in self grooming. Almost all the basic self grooming methods and techniques revolve around these three primary factors of self grooming. For a girl, it is extremely important to maintain great health, perfect hygiene levels and original beauty in order to flaunt the world with the pure essence of femininity that God has gifted to her. If we look at these factors superficially then we may find it challenging to cope with all of them at the same time for self grooming but with correct knowledge and a will to improve your personality with self grooming nothing remains challenging at all, in fact, things become much easier and you start loving yourself more.

As far as health is concerned in self grooming, start off with a balance in whatever you eat. Stop relying on crazy crash diets and anorexic habits and move on to healthy habits by eating everything even the junk food but in a proportionate manner. Remember that self grooming subliminally teaches you how to bring proportion and balance in your life and makes you get ready for your future life when you will have your own family and you are going to be the supportive factor for your entirefamily. Make it a habit to prefer natural stuff over artificial and synthetic food items when it comes to self grooming for eating food. Don’t be an extremist and don’t skip meals ever. Rather, it is always better to take small proportions all at different timings during a day.

The secret of self grooming for beauty lies in just being you and drinking lots and lots of water. There is no substitute for originality and self grooming is all about just being yourself and developing your own comfort zone with all kinds of environments. It is a big mistake when girls especially during teenage years think that they are going to look good and self grooming would be great if they do an over dose of makeup and accessories. This is utterly wrong. Excess of everything is bad and self grooming simply minimizes it to the lowest levels. Try to evoke the inner your and show it to the world. Develop healthy habits through self grooming that will make you shine from the inside. When you will have a glowing complexion, fresh skin and smooth hair; believe me no makeup can ever make you look more beautiful and that’s the promise of self grooming for beauty.

Last but not the least, good hygiene is a necessity of each and every human being for self grooming and if you want people to stay near you and be more loveable to you then self grooming about hygiene is very important. Well cut nails, trimmed hair, neat clothes and a clean look overall is very important for self grooming. Girls who have untidy nails with smudged nail polishes, split ends in hair and tacky clothes show that they are in desperate need of self grooming.

It should also be kept in mind that self grooming is not about expensive accessories, cosmetics or other stuff, rather; self grooming simply teaches you how to be more adaptable to your surroundings and how to make your place in a competitive society of the modern day. Therefore, being a girl, just polish up your health, hygiene and beauty with simple self groomingtips and shine out amongst all the other around you.

5 Ways to Make a Negative Experience More Positive

“The road to positivity is strewn with the abandoned vehicles of the faint-hearted.”
~Peter McWilliams

Each of us experience setbacks in life, all of which provide us with valuable lessons about the human condition. It is not the setback itself that influences your future, but rather how to react to the negative situation. You’ve heard the adage many times about turning lemons into lemonade, right? Well, this sentiment is absolutely true and can tremendously improve your quality of life.

Turning a negative experience into something more positive isn’t always easy. In fact, some of the most tragic moments in our life seem never-ending when we are experiencing them. However, there is always a way to take a bad situation and extract something positive from it. Below are five ways to do just that.

1. “This too shall pass.” That is what you should initially tell yourself when something bad happens. Repeat those words in your head and even aloud if it helps. The important thing is that you do not panic, as this will only exasperate the negative experience. Every bad moment in your life will end, which can be a comfort during the worst of times.

2. Find purpose in the experience. Some people believe that everything happens for a reason. While you may not buy into that philosophy, you can at least giveeach experience a purpose. Try to think of a lesson that the experience has taught you. Did you meet a new friend while going through this time? Did you learn how not to do something?

3. Keep your sense of humor handy. This applies to everything in your life. Almost every situation allows for a bit of levity, so remain humble and try seeing the humorous side of things. Even if it isn’t appropriate to joke about something aloud, you can make humorous observations in your mind to keep you on a positive track.

4. Don’t dwell on negative moments. You will not help anyone by stewing in a moment that has already passed. Whether you were hurt, embarrassed or both, the negative emotions you felt before should not remain fresh in your psyche. If you continue to dwell in the negative, you will never find your way out again.

5. Set a new goal to work towards. As I said before, you should never dwell in your past negative experiences. Sometimes it is hard to get out of a funk, however. The best way to rise up from a bad experience and move on from a situation is to set new, positive goals to focus on. This will give you something good to strive for and will take your mind off whatever has occurred.

This article was contributed by Heather Johnson.

Top 10 ways to boost your confidence

Give your self-esteem a boost and start feeling great about yourself

Confidence is affected by many factors — including our own feelings of self-worth or perceived degree of success. If you’re lacking in these areas then you should check out the following top ways to boost your confidence which will have you feeling able to tackle any given situation.

Boost your confidence, tip 1: Mix with positive people

Being around positive people will rub off on you and will get you in a positive frame of mind — as well as brimming with confidence! If you’re surrounded by happy, smiling faces and laughter, then isn’t that going to be infectious?

Being positive is all in the mind — so you have to make yourself think positively. But if there are positive people around giving you advice, building you up, and pushing you in the right direction, then thinking positively will come more easily and your confidence will naturally increase as a result. So, if you are aware that the people you mix with tend to bring you down a lot, then do something about it by getting some new friends.

Boost your confidence, tip 2: Get a new image

It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female — what you look like will always affect your confidence. Your everyday appearance — including what clothes you’re wearing, how your hair looks and what make-up you’re wearing — will make a massive difference to how you feel. All of us know how much our confidence can be knocked when having a bad hair day, or by having unsightly spots appear overnight smack bang in the middle of our faces!

It’s well worth investing in your appearance with new clothes or a new hairstyle, as this will really boost your confidence. Wear some colours that cheer you up and make you feel good about yourself, or go for a smarter option if you think this will make you feel more confident.

Boost your confidence, tip 3: Get a new job

It might be your job that is causing you to lack confidence. If you’re in a place where you’re constantly undermined or lacking a challenge, then your confidence is hardly going to be sky high. If that’s the case, then it’s probably time to move on and find a more challenging role.

Look for that job out there that you really want, and then apply for it — rather than constantly thinking about going for it and then doing nothing. If you get the job then you’ll feel extremely uplifted and much more confident. Admittedly, there is always a risk that your level of confidence will go down if you don’t get the job, but don’t let that bother you; instead, be proud of the fact that you tried — and then try again.

Boost your confidence, tip 4: List your good points

Write out a list of all the things that you are good at, to act as reminder to yourself that you are least good at some things! Then, when you’re feeling that your confidence is on the wane, take the list out, read it, and add something new to it. If you’re struggling to think of things to add to your list, then it’s possible you’re missing the obvious or being too harsh on yourself.

It’s also worth remembering some of the things you have achieved so far in your life. They don’t have to be earth-shattering achievements, but could still be something to be proud of — such as passing your driving test, raising a family, getting fit, or successfully saving up for a trip away.

Boost your confidence, tip 5: Work on your small talk

Some people really struggle in social situations such as parties because they feel they lack the confidence to engage in small talk with people they do not know. They constantly avoid these situations and therefore their confidence does not improve — and nor does their circle of friends.

Our advice is: if you get invited somewhere, make sure you go! The more social situations you get in, the more comfortable you’ll feel making small talk to people you’ve only just met. Remember: most people probably feel the same way, and will probably be so relieved when you break the ice that they’ll open up and talk to you in kind.

Boost your confidence, tip 6: Get fit and eat healthily

Your body shape and weight can have a major impact on your confidence levels — although we’re not saying that everyone who is overweight, underweight or needs to tone up is always lacking in confidence, of course. But getting more exercise and following a healthier diet will boost your sense of well-being — and this in turn will have a positive effect on your confidence.

Getting fitter and eating more healthily will definitely make a difference to your confidence levels — no matter how much or little you improve. Remember the saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’? Well, it’s true!

Boost your confidence, tip 7: Be assertive

Assertiveness breeds confidence in yourself and gains the confidence of others around you. If you take control of a situation, you will gain confidence from that, and any positive feedback you get from others will surely help with your levels of confidence too.

Being assertive doesn’t have to mean being rude or bossy. You could start by making yourself stand tall so that people take notice of you and your oozing confidence. Then decide that each day it’s going to be you that makes everyday decisions at home and in the workplace, rather than waiting to be told what to do or being passive.

Boost your confidence, tip 8: Take on a challenge

Doing something new — such as learning a language, learning to play a musical instrument, or taking a class in some other discipline. Learning anything new is great for your confidence — and the added bonus is that you’ll meet lots of people who you’ll have at least one thing in common with.

If you are in interested in taking on an extreme challenge, why not consider running a marathon, or doing a sponsored bungee jump? Overcoming any major challenge will give you more confidence and will improve your self-esteem too. You will always have a sense of, ‘If I can do that, then I can do anything!’ after overcoming a personal challenge such as those suggested here.

Boost your confidence, tip 9: Keep a diary

Do a ‘Bridget Jones’ and keep a diary that you can go back to and read or add to frequently. Diaries are a great way of raising your sense of self by reinforcing the fact that you and your opinions count.

Reading about what you’ve done in the past can help you realise what you’ve managed to overcome and how you’ve dealt with situations in your life — and you should be able to take some confidence from the fact that you survived or that you handled something in a positive manner. We can all learn things about ourselves by looking back; after all, experience breeds confidence.

Boost your confidence, tip 10: Be philosophical

Being philosophical about things means that if things don’t quite go the way you planned, you can put events into perspective and you won’t let the experience knock your confidence. For example, if you don’t get that job you had hoped for, then why not think about what else is round the corner, rather than ruminating too much on why you failed? Also, you should remember that failing to overcome a problem rarely means that it’s the end of the world!

Being positive and philosophical about things can be an attractive trait to have, because having a negative outlook can make other people want to shy away from you. It’s best to try to turn negatives into positives and not be too self-critical.

Natural Home Remedies to Increase Height and Body Weight

The best way will be to mix bran with a new fruit like papaya. It can increase appetite, improve the particular digestion and remove costiveness, if perhaps any. One will have a tendency to eat more and the capability to assimilate food could be increased.

Foods like flour, rice honey, raisins, figs, dates, butter, and etc. may help increase weight. Sweat chemicals can increase weight in comparison with fatty foods. Those desperate to increase their weight will need to become pure vegetarians as well as eat fruits, rice, flour, more vegetables, bananas, dry fruits, butter, in addition to milk. Germinated wheat is equally extremely beneficial if taken comprising gruel mixed with warm milk.
.

Is our lives improved by using computers?

In relatively few years, computers have dramatically impacted the way we live our lives. Countless tasks and pastimes are made much more simple, efficient and enjoyable because of the capabilities of modern computers. Whether it is chatting online, emailing friends in other countries, or keeping our work organised, there is really no limit to the amount of doors computers can open for people everywhere.

When shopping for computers, people want to get the most cost-effective deal, but also to make sure that they get a machine with quality components which will give them good service. As computers have become almost ubiquitous, this has led to prices falling significantly, making it possible for nearly every household to own at least one computer. Depending on the features you want, the budget you can afford, and your main purpose for buying a new computer, the number of options available to be investigated is large.

With increasing numbers of people needing to keep in touch on the move, yet keep in touch with their friends and family members and have the capabilities of a fully-featured desktop machine at their fingertips, a laptop computer is a great solution. They are extremely useful because they are allowed on planes and with their built-in Wi-Fi capability, they can connect to signals anywhere, allowing you to constantly use the internet and send and receive emails.

A high proportion of laptop computers now come with built-in webcams, and these are becoming popular because they allow people to see others while they are talking to them, regardless of the time or location.

For someone running a home-based business, desktop computers might be a more practical solution to turn to.

They are ideal for anyone who only needs to work on a computer from a single location. With their ability to be set up in the optimal fashion for individual needs, and a separate monitor on which settings such as brightness and contrast can be easily adjusted, desktop computers are great for taking some of the strain off of your eyes. Desktop computers also tend to be a bit cheaper than laptop computers, as the more portable laptop models require the use of more compact and sophisticated technology.